We open our presents on Christmas Eve. But, to the incredibly dismay of my son, we do not open them right the hell away on Christmas Eve. The prospect that he has to wait even longer for, as far as he can tell, no reason other than arbitrary caprice on my part, is excruciating for him. Yet, him sobbing quietly in my arms at 6:30 am was not the bad part of my morning.
No, the comically bad part of my morning was when I let the dogs out at 6:00. You see, our oldest and smallest dog is Toby. Toby is completely deaf, is mostly blind, has arthritis, and weighs about eight pounds. His legs are about two inches long. Or, at least, it seems that way.
The dogs go out into the yard via the back door, and four steps down. Under the absolute best conditions, Toby sometimes can’t get back up the steps and into the house. The solution is for an adult to step out into the yard and scoop him up, carrying him into the house. We received six inches of snow overnight. Conditions for Toby to get into the house were not the best.
I saw the struggling little scrap of a dog at the bottom of the steps and sighed. I found a pair of boots and stepped out into the yard. It is six a.m., I will have you recall. I’m wearing a nightgown and a pair of boots. As I maneuvered to get the little dog, I slipped in the six inches of snow and promptly sat on the back steps. My nightgown, seeing that I was falling backwards, solicitously hitched itself up as I sat, so as to avoid getting wet.
There is nothing quite like sitting bare-ass-naked in six inches of snow to liven up a person’s morning.
I stood, brushed snow off my butt (noting that it is fine packing snow, and that the kids should go play in it later today,) grabbed a scampering terrier who was now so coated in snow as to be unrecognizable, and trudged up the steps. I am fairly certain that the rest of the day is going to be a snap after this.
If I don’t get back online in the next couple of days (hah, fat chance of that, but I’m trying to be polite here) Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!