The Fandoms-As-Exes Meme

Note: By fandom I mean the property itself, not the fannish communities surrounding that property.

The one who seduced you, screwed you over, broke your heart in a million pieces, and laughed about it.

Battlestar Galactica. My god, show, what the hell HAPPENED to you? What were you thinking? How could you go crazy in just that way that sucked so badly when you had SO MUCH PROMISE?

The old flame you don’t see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp:

Buffy. Aww, Buffy, I will always think kindly of you, despite being older and wiser now and recognizing that we’ve grown apart.

The mysterious dark one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 AM at weird coffee houses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized s/he really was fucking crazy:

Carnivale. That show is insane, and was from the start.

The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor and whom you’d still really like to get with again, although you’re relieved s/he doesn’t actually live in town:

My-HiME and My-Otome.

The steady:

Comics. Comics comics comics comics, they are my life-long fannish partner.

The alluring stranger whom you’ve flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:

Hot FBI/CIA posse fandom — Criminal Minds, Fringe, all the tv shows with FBI and CIA teams doing Very Serious Work, who have very attractive and very serious women on them.

The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with, but ultimately you’re just good buddies:

The Terminator franchise. I mean, I love the movies and T:SCC, but I just can’t get into the fandoms and the fic-writing and such. I still respect them, it’s not you it’s me.

The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool person except it’s never really gone anywhere:

Full Metal Alchemist. I actually really do like the manga and the anime, but it’s not what I want it to be, ultimately. (I want it to be ALL Team Mustang all the time, and much much less alchemy and the Elric brothers.)

The one who’s slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at them and thinking, “How the hell did they land all these cool people?”

Canadian Six Degrees fandom. I keep WATCHING all these shows, wondering what the hell people see in them, and I got nothin’.

The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and against whom you measure all other potential partners:

The X-Men-related comics from 1985-1989.

The one you recently met at a party and would like to get to know better:

Shadowunit.

The old flame that you wouldn’t totally object to hooking up with again for a one night romp if only they’d clean up a bit:

Dark Angel, with less of the guys and more of Max’s angst.

Your hot new flame:

Hmm, not sure I have one …

The one who stole your significant other:

I don’t know what this means …

6 Responses

  1. “(I want it to be ALL Team Mustang all the time, and much much less alchemy and the Elric brothers.)”

    You know, for all the “if only American comics worked the way Japanese comics do” that I hear, there’s a total argument for wishing it was the other way. ‘Cause I could read a “Mustang & Hawkeye” book, and a Winry-in-Rush-Valley book, and a “Hughes Investigates Military Crimes” book — and I’d still pick up “Ed & Al do Alchemy” but YOU wouldn’t have to.

    I mean, I *know* why it doesn’t work this way, but I can see the advantages, just like I can see ways it would be better if some of my favorite Marvel & DC characters were featured in single-creator mangas instead of the shared universe.

  2. I would read the Mustang and Hawkeye book, and the Hughes investigate book, and the Team Mustang Year One book, and the Hawkeye First Class book. And I would probably read Frank Miller’s dark AU re-envisioning of the post war book, and I’d also read Jeff Parker and Jamie McKelvie’s light comedic high school retcon.

  3. Bitter old Dark Knight Roy Mustang is both scary & awesome.

  4. Exactly. You can just see him teaming up with some Ishbalan orphan girl sharpshooter, long after Hawkeye’s death ….

  5. Actually, maybe I want bitter old Dark Knight Hawkeye *more*.

  6. You’re right, that sounds even better.

    Maybe the villain can be someone impersonating Hughes-back-from-the-dead via alchemy.

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