Jason Thibeault was kind enough to record our Carol Corps panel from Geek Girl Con 2014. Audio only, available on YouTube!
She was doxxed, she was outed. Her stalkers have found her again.
She said horrible things about people. She was cruel. She was profoundly unkind.
She reviewed books. She pointed out flaws. She criticized popular works. She frequently dismissed merit in favor of scoring vitriolic points.
Her reviews were entertaining. Her flame wars were pointed and personal.
This is her apology.
I read these words and gave deep, profound, heartfelt thanks that most of my sins thus far in life were carried out in private. Absent the glare of social media.
I, too, apologized too late. Nor were my apologies as graceful as this one.
Benjanun Sriduangkaew, I wish you the best of luck going forward in life.
The last forty-eight hours saw me:
scrape the basement walls free of old paint
wash the walls
go to the hardware store for forgotten things
sweep the floor of lead paint chips and flakes
paint the walls with Drylok [girlfriend helped with this, thank you Laura!]
paint the second coat of the walls
remove the remaining furniture [at this point my daughter helped with everything following; thank you, buff and hella-strong athlete child!]
sweep the floor again
mop the floor
scrub the floor
mop the floor
dry the floor
scrub the stairs
dry the stairs
paint the floor
paint the stairs
go to the library for the weekly run
drop my car off for replacement bearings [J picked it up, thank you J!]
do multiple loads of dishes
take children to and from circus
go to small dog play group at the park
Somewhere is all of this, I have Done Something Untoward to my right wrist/forearm. I’ve got it in a brace again today, and am on a steady regime of ibuprofen. (Yesterday was ibuprofen and icing. It’s better this morning.) And, more importantly, J is doing the second coat of paint today.
Tomorrow we go the the hardware store AGAIN, this time with the kids so they can pick out paint for their new (old) furniture.
Home repair/remodel projects. They are relentless.
In the middle of the work yesterday, my phone twanged at me. It was a text message from Kelly Sue DeConnick’s Bitches Get Stuff Done inspirational text-list. It said, “Get back to work.”
I smiled, full of virtue and accomplishment, and resumed painting.
I am back from Geek Girl Con!
It was a great con, and I had a blast.
On a strictly personal note the drugs I was on for my throat WORKED, and I could talk, pain-free, all weekend. NOR did I throw my back out on the first day, the way I did last year.
The actual convention was pretty damn fun. I chatted with Adrian and Mick of Optimystical Studios, I met some friends-of-friends, and some of the great authors who have submitted work to Apex Magazine in the last year came up to say hi to me.
I was on one panel, The Carol Corps and the Emerging Face of Fandom. We had a pretty good time, despite the 10:00 a.m. Sunday morning slot. Many thanks, AGAIN, to all of y’all who got out of bed and made it to the con for the first panel of the day! And special thanks to Kelly Sue DeConnick, who was in NYCC, for sending Kit Cox to the panel with a swag bag for giveaways. (Kit, it was great to meet you! Thanks again!)
The panelists were myself, Anika Dane, her daughter Aeris, Sam Einhorn, and Jon Singer. And then Kit came up and did the swag giveaway. And then I roped Jason Thibeault into joining us to talk about the intersectionality of groups fighting evil. The crowd was great, the participation was great, and I am always brought to sniffles by how damn much everyone in the Carol Corps CARES. About comics. About each other. About the world. About everything.
The rest of the con was, overall, pretty good. I like Seattle. I liked the hotel. I ate at the Blue Water Taco Grill three times, because, YUM.
Good times. I hope I can make it back next year.
What do we do about missing stairs?
What so we do when we find out that someone in our community is a bully, or a stalker, or a creeper, or a sock-puppet-wielding narcissist?
No laws are broken. No rules trampled. Merely the trust by which society operates and thrives.
What do we do when we find out?
I am never the person sinned against, these days. Oh sure, in my youth I was creeped at, I was intimidated, I was taken advantage of. Whatever. Water under the bridge, and we’ve all moved on. My point is, none of this shit ever happens to ME these days. I just hear about it through third parties.
So what do I get to do?
Yesterday I learned of another such missing stair. I haven’t been impacted by this person AT ALL. I could out them with ease and no consequences.
No consequences for me.
It’s not my call. It’s not my call to out the victims in the collateral. It’s not my place to reveal abuses that don’t happen to me.
When someone’s trust has been violated, I do not get to violate that trust further, not even ‘for their own good.’
So what do we do, internet of well-intentioned people? How do we handle these things?
This is why we have missing stairs.
We have got to come up with a better way.