Advice Column

Here’s a meme from my LiveJournal FList —

Ask any character I’ve written or Role-played for advice, and they will provide it, advice columnist style. Your problems or fictional characters’ problems both welcome. Management is not responsible for the results of following said advice (especially if provided by Rachel Summers-Grey or Starbuck.)

Helpful list of characters I’ve fanfic’d or RP’d: Rachel Summers-Grey, Faith, Kara Thrace aka Starbuck, Kitty Pryde aka Shadowcat, Tony Stark, Jim Profit, Emma Frost, Simon Tam, River Tam, Malcolm Reynolds, Rogue, Scott Summers aka Cyclops, Logan aka Wolverine, Jean Grey aka Phoenix, Barbara Gordon aka Oracle, Helena Bertinelli aka Huntress, Karl Agathon aka Helo, The Joker, Jessica Jones aka Jewel aka Knightress, Carol Danvers aka Ms. Marvel, Sarah Connor . . .

Um. I’m confident I’m missing some.

Here’s an example, from Boyd Langton of Dollhouse to Beast from the X-Men:

Dear Mr. McCoy —

I have in my care an extraordinary young woman who is — not always able to care for herself. I am her protector and handler guard. The organization we work for is . . . not always honest about the risks to my charge. What advice do you have for ensuring her safety? I don’t want to cause a stir — I want to remain her guardian, I don’t want to lose my position.


B. Langton

7 Responses

  1. Dear Ms. Kinney,

    What’s the best way to dispose of a body?

    Purely Hypothetical

  2. Dear Kitty,

    I was recently replaced by a younger and spunkier version of me, and now my surrogate father figure is paying more attention to him and completely ignoring me. Any advice on how to handle this?

    The First Robin

  3. Dear Ms. Danvers,

    Wanna go flying with me?


  4. Dear Simon —

    I thought you might be able to help me with a problem I have. The problem with temperamental geniuses is that they’re bright, but not always good at political realities of normal people. But you know that.

    Do you have any tips for me on how to get a genius back when they go AWOL? Mine is off on a mission, and he left me with some hints, but I’m not a genius and I’m not sure what he wants me to do, and god, I miss him so much. He needs me, and I need to organize someone, and it’s making me crazy that I can’t help him.

    Tell me something to make it better. Call me anytime.

    — Pepper

  5. Dear Logan,

    As someone who has lived through a number of years and time periods without changing, how do you handle keeping straight all of your adventures? These days, it’s hard for me to tell people I got my start before JFK was president without them looking at me funny.

    Thanks in advance,
    Bond. James Bond.

  6. Dear Mr. Agathon,

    I hear you’re an expert in human-Cyborg relations. How believable is it when an artificial life form who happens to be a highly sophisticated fighting machine with tactical skills repeatly tells you she loves you and that you love her? Also, how do you handle the fact everyone else in your life hates her guts and thinks she’ll kill you in the end?

    John Connor

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