Tendonitis and wicked queens

I went to the physical therapist yesterday for the chronic elbow and wrist pain. Yes, I have tendonitis. Yes, I can expect to wear this brace for six months. Yes, I have exercises to do.

I knew all of this, but it’s best sometimes to go have a professional say it rather than relying on Things I Looked Up on the Internet.

I’m taking the kids to all their circus classes this week, because J is busy with choir rehearsals and concerts. The summer show kids are practicing in every free space during every free moment. They are an impressive bunch of athletes.

I envy them their health and youth.

Now, I would not TRADE my infirmity and age and oh-sweet-crickets WISDOM for their health and youth. Ahahahah.

No.

But I watched a girl climb up a rope upside-down, using only her arms, her feet not touching the rope above her head, and I purely envied that. I don’t want to take it from her, and I don’t want to trade, but I envy it.

The idea that the wicked queen of story kills the young because they might usurp her kingdom/power/place has always made sense to me. I am a student of history, and I know how congenital political legacies work. The part where the wicked queen wants to kill the young because they are pretty, on the other hand … I’ve never really gotten that. Why is attractiveness something to kill over?

At the physical therapist’s office this morning I was sitting near a teenager getting PT for a wrenched shoulder. She would be back at her sport in six to eight weeks, it seemed. I had a pang, half-eavesdropping on her. I wanted all the best for her, so she could return to whatever sport had caused the injury. But I also felt a sharp, brief, resentment. My elbow was injured from doing far, far less, and it will take for-fucking-ever to heal.

If it ever does.

Maybe the wicked queen doesn’t kill the young because they have clear complexions and thick hair.

Maybe she kills them because their bones do not ache, their joints do not creak, and the things they tear heal.

My envy is nothing so poisonous as that. I merely want to lecture the young about not wasting this marvelous window of opportunity. And I also know perfectly well that even the young can be damaged, for permanent, for life. Many of my friends have legacy damage from their athletic youth. But for the first time in my life, I am coming to grasp, a bit, how the wicked queen might be feeling.

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One Response

  1. Yay for getting exercises from a physical therapist. I have worked with several good PTs for joint issues. I really like the feeling of getting professional advice tailored for the issues of my body. I also like the results I am getting from doing the exercises.

    My sympathy on the tendonitis. I had to switch to mousing with my left hand because I developed tendonitis when I was writing my master’s thesis. I think the real fault was with the computer games I played for stress relief, but I wouldn’t admit that. It did go away when I stopped aggravating the wrist.

    I have been getting some sympathy and perspective on age and injury from my friend Tristan who is in his early 20s. He was a championship level Irish dancer before he had a foot injury and had to stop. He still walks with a cane and may need to continue using it for the rest of his life. He doesn’t regret the experiences that led to the injury. I have to wonder if he will feel differently in his 30s or 40s. I certainly don’t regret the aikido and dancing that aggravated my knees. My main goal is to do the right mix of exercise and medical intervention so that I can keep doing aikido. If push comes to shove I’ll give up the dancing.

    I hope that you start to see the benefits of your treatment plan soon. Pain is a very effective motivating force.

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