Most times, she just don’t want you

This article by Ta-Nehisi Coates:

Raymond Chandler’s Private Dick

is unknowingly in conversation with this video of a monologue by Lindy West:

Lindy West at Back Fence PDX.

The key part, from Coates:

“It’s a kind of pornography, a humiliated boy’s idea of what manhood must be. I wish more of the art I loved, the art rendered by dudes, did not take sexual vulnerability as something to be defeated, but as an actual fact. You do not get the girl. More directly, you have no actual right to get the girl. Most times, she just don’t want you. And when she does, your reply is, very often, to pine after some other “her.”

Some of us really do go there—Ricky Gervais’s David Brent does it in the extreme. But I’m hunting for more. In the end, we don’t just hate women. We hate ourselves. There’s a lot of juice in confronting not women, not the object, but the subject; in honing in on that part of our makeup which seems bent on our humiliation.”

And the key part, from West:

“And here’s what he says. He says, ‘I’m making this vlog because I’m not happy with the direction that my life is going. I don’t. I’m not, I don’t like my career, if you can call it that, I’m unhappy with the way that I look, I’m unsatisfied with myself as a man, and not just as a man, but as a human being.'”

Read, watch. Contemplate.

My question for myself is, what do I do to make this better for the future?


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