Buddha told a parable in a sutra:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!
Yesterday was my throat biopsy.
I do not have the results yet. I will get the results on Wednesday.
It does not look good. It looks worrisome. The word “cancer” was mentioned. I do not have the official results yet.
So, there I am, on the cliff. Possible cancer. Possible loss of work. Possible long-tern adverse health. Possible loss of voice. All sorts of terrible possibilities.
On the drive home from the hospital, we got into a bad accident on the highway. We were the filling in a truck sandwich. Me, Jennifer, my mom, both the kids. Airbags. Crumple zones. Shattered glass. Blood and bruises.
We are all okay.
My kids, my mother, my partner — we are all bruised and battered but essentially okay.
Today is my daughter’s birthday. She is eleven years old today. Eleven years ago, I was at the baby shower for the kid of a good friend. I always remember that. When J and I found out the K was to be placed with us, I remember counting back the days to figure out what I was doing the day she was born. I was sitting in the room full of friends, full of good will — full of uncertain future for the parents of said new kid.
As I type this post this morning, I am listening to K getting her tech support introduction to her new phone/internet device/media player from Cavorter. My daughter. She was in the way-back of the Kia Rondo last night. She was covered from head to toe in the safety glass from the shattered rear window. The bumper crumple zone was smashed almost flat behind her.
She is fine. A split lip, and her retainer needs replacing, but she is fine. She is sitting on the couch discussing Windows 8 apps.
That is one fucking fantastic strawberry, y’all. One damn fucking fantastic strawberry.
Biopsy results come Wednesday.
For now, we are all safe and well.
Filed under: Autobiography |