Jupiter Ascending, a few thoughts

I remember when Alien Resurrection was in theaters. I saw that movie in the theater! On paper, A:R was amazing. Great director, great writers, amazing cast, good SFX, good concept — it should have been a good movie.

It’s not.

I’ve watched Alien Resurrection five or six times on dvd, trying to figure out what the hell went WRONG. I still can’t put my finger on it.

I saw Jupiter Ascending this weekend in the theater. When it ended I told Cavorter that I though the film would have benefited from being directed by either Baz Luhrman or Luc Besson. Or possibly Peter Jackson.

If Jackson had directed it, I would have CARED during those amazingly filmed but totally soulless fight scenes. If Luhrman had filmed it I would have been so entranced by the spectacle that the asinine plot wouldn’t have mattered. If Besson had directed this movie I would have found the inexplicable worldbuilding charming and over-the-top instead of haphazardly executed.

Jupiter Ascending has everything going for it on paper. Great cast, great directors, good budget, nice concept, good SFX.

Yet …

Yet Tatum and Kunis, who have great chemistry with their co-stars in almost every project ever, have no chemistry with each other. Yet the worldbuilding is nonsense AND vitally important to our caring. Yet the SFX are brilliant but totally divorced from any character moments to give them meaning.

I’m not sure what happened, here. On paper this film is brilliant. On the screen …

… not so much.


This is the story of a regular girl who finds out she is a princess, who gains an empire, who falls in love with a Manic Pixie Wolf Boy. The entire story revolves around her, she saves her own life in hand-to-hand combat, she is tested and doesn’t falter. At the end of the story she returns to her world, having learned the truth about her heritage and the value of the life she leads. She gets everything she wants, and is happy.

And there are really cool gravity-rocket-skate-boots.

I’m not really seeing the downside, here.


One Response

  1. Dear Sigrid
    We are having on Wikipedia some discussions about Jupiter Ascending’s Character Caine Wise being a Manic Pixie Dream Boy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl
    If you could give me some (not self-published…) sources on the assessment von this character I would greatly appreciate.
    Or perhaps you could expand your very interesting blog-entry in some form of paper 😉

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